Forget this, anger is a poor motivator, don't post when angry >.<

My apologies Ronald :(

I'm sitting right now on my bed with my duvet around my shoulders. It's cosy but the weight of it on me hurts SO much.
It's so typical, we went the whole holiday without any accidents -apart from my dad getting a small bruise from being on a red-route cycle track- and as we were cycling to the car to attach the bikes to the roof and go home, I fell.
Well, more flew than fell
And I don't even know what happened. Some friends think it was a suicide attempt and...

I HATE CUTTING
i hate it
i hate it
i hate it
i hate it
i hate it
i hate it
i hate it
i hate it
i hate it
i hate it

It makes me feel so sick and broken :"(

"I don't want to cry
anymore,
I don't want to feel like
lifes to seedie anymore,
I don't want to be told
lies anymore,
I don't want to see the skies in
gray anymore,
I don't want the pain to
be anymore
.
I want to be happy and
warm
but never so Cold,
I want to dance in the
rain,
not feel pain

I want to be held...
Not against my will...

I want to see happiness......

Scared.
So so scared.

She's scaring me...
She has so much going on in her life...
She's breaking down mentally and physically....
I just wish I could hold her til she feels safe again....
It's not my place to tell whats wrong but....
I just wish she wouldn't hurt anymore

That HE wouldn't hurt her anymore....

I love her soooo much....

But I wish she would get help...

She needs help
...

Well.... First off HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY

....
Yeah. I cut today.
I've been off it for two months.
But I cut today.

And it felt good.

No, it felt sick

So what if I was on the edge the whole day??

So what if my girlfriend said she didn't care at the moment to go ahead....

I should've been stronger.

I'm weak.

I gave in to something as stupid as harming myself...

I...

I might not have known this boy but he was really close to a my mom's friend's daughter who is almost like a sister to me.

On Canada day here, at around 11 PM, a 13 year old boy was killed in a car collison caused by a drunk driver. The little honda civic was side-struck on the passanger side by a Dodge truck and killed the boy instantly. His 18 year old brother/friend (my mom wasn't clear on it) was flown to Calgary hospital with serious life threatening and is now stable...
...

As the title suggests I'm headed back home tomorrow.
I don't want to go, I know that no one ever wants to go home from a holiday but I love it here so much. It's like a second home, we've been coming here for so long. It's so beautiful and natural. I can't stress how much I love it.
I don't know if it's the idea of going home and facing everything again that's doing this but I've been so ridiculously suicidal the past few days and it's really starting to bother me. Whereas before...

Source: Notice | Facilitated Chat Room Discussions.


There are three scheduled discussions on the topic of avoiding procrastination tonight in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas. The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (BST), the second will be held at 8pm Eastern US time (EDT), and the third will be held at 8pm Pacific US time (PDT). All you have to do to take part...