The feelings back, the want, the need. I miss it. I feel like I need it. I want to go to bed and never wake up. I want to drink until I black out. It's to much. I want to rip my eyes out. I want to pull the veins from my arms until there not connected anymore. I want to end it all. The pain, the stress, the need. Everything. I want it to end. I'm afraid to be alive anymore, but I'm afraid to die. I hate it. I feel like I did two years ago.

I just want scrape the slate clean. Remove all the bad thoughts from this blog, and create a happy place for me and perhaps, even for others to share their ideas. I want this blog to become something interesting, maybe informative, and somewhere I come to be interesting and have fun. NO BAD DAYS WILL LEAK INTO THIS BLOG!!!! Okay guys, thats the idea, I'm going to put this into action!!

love you all inappropriately! xx

~Brenna

I have so much homework and I dont know how to do most of it & I have like no motivation to do anything or move or get up or anything.

I just want to sit here & cry.

I feels so fat & disgusting I want to feel beautiful & pretty, I want to loose weight so bad but I have to eat dinner soon & I really don't want to go back to my ED life..

I'm so tired & I have a headache & I really just need some motivation & LOADS of positivity...

Me and her are both cutters, we've done it so long and today she texts me "I'm sorry" (we promised not to do it anymore) and I don't know what to do...i dont have Java on my phone...if you can support me via msg, that would be much appreciated. I feel so very bad.

Source: Notice | Facilitated Chat Room Discussions.


There are three scheduled discussions on the topic of making your dreams come true in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (GMT/UTC), the second will be held at 8pm Eastern US time (EST), and the...

Scared. I think my best friend wants us to date. I'd date a girl but the problem is I like Paul more then her. I don't want to hurt her. I'm sure if I was given the chance I would date him. I need help!!

I'm getting sick of living.
How long has it been? Almost a month with calling him and no responce?
Friday's suppose to be our 1 year anniversary. The day I've been so excited to reach just 2 months ago is the day I dread will be filled with utter sadness.
I call him everyday at least 3 times. I send him a one sentence email everyday just saying something I fear or feel at that moment. And yet, nothing.
I'm nearly tired but I can't give up until I know the truth. I know,...

I'm scared I'll start again. I really want to. I have this need that recently came back. It's been almost a year and it showed up now. I don't know what to do. I need help but I don't know how to ask. I'm afraid I'll disappoint everyone. If I start again everything will be better. I'll be relaxed, and calm. I'll get more sleep. I wont be up half the night thinking if I should or shouldn't I don't know anymore.

So, those of you who were in chat with me last night know I was supposed to go to an art group this morning. I had figured it probably started around 10am, so here's what happened:

I was laying in bed, just after 10am, thinking, maybe it's in the afternoon. When my cellphone rang. Or rather, someone called my mobile and it lit up and vibrated. So I answered. It was Trish, the key worker of my old flatmate, asking if she could bring around a potential new flatmate this morning. I told...

Get the picture? I'm not okay.

And I don't know why.

Last night I had to call Live Help because I wanted to cut and even though I was outwardly, and maybe inwardly calm, my brain was telling me to take the pills.

Today I got that weird chest feeling again and cut a lot and I can't calm down and I want to cut some more and I was supposed to be asleep...