I should spend every day with my boyfriend. I eat pretty normally around him, he makes it easier because he loves how I look and always makes me feel good about myself.

But I know I'll be restricting tomorrow. I feel guilty about today and I can feel myself losing control. I don't want to gain. Even though I know I won't I'm still terrified.

I tried to talk to my mum again. She doesn't even let me start. I want to tell her that I counted out the pills, that I tried...

When my parents said they hadn't got me anything for my birthday i thought they were joking lol.
I wish they were at home with me, i don't care about the money or going out for dinner, i just want them both there and that would have been the perfect birthday.

But oh well, it's just another birthday, i'll have plenty more...

I thought I'd gained weight over my holiday, but actually I've lost it. I don't understand, because I ate so much. I mean, I didn't hit the guide line, but I ate seriously loads more than I normally do, and I still lost a decent amount. I don't understand. Does that mean to maintain I'll have to eat even more? Because I was struggling enough as it was to eat that amount. I mean, when I binge I can go forever, but when I'm eating normally, well I can't really eat normally. I always restrict in some...

Im so stupid. i want to kill myself again. i don't care anymore. i have cut 2 days in a row.I want to cut the deepest i can. i wish i could die. i noticed a couple days ago im so selfish.. everyone would be happy if i died.
I feel like i have done everything wrong in the past couple days. i can't do anything right.Everyone gets mad at me. Does anyone else ever feel like this?

School starts in almost a week. i don't want to go to school were i have to pretend im happy, and...

Typed out a whole blog but realised i was saying way to much and that i need to learn to shut up. Not like anyone really cares. Want to hide away. Really struggling right now.

I tried not to focus on this very much because I get too emotional. But I was on tumblr and I saw this picutre.

It sickens me that someone could actually find that in the least bit fun. It pisses me off that there is people out there who can think that this is okay. I'm crying right now, I can't stop thinking about that little girl. Having to grow up without a father. (I'm not sure what...

Feel so unsafe right now, can't handle everything. Lost pretty much all hope. I'm trying to stay strong and fight this crap i really am but i just can't take all these arguments. Friends had a go at me for not going today. Well sorry if i don't want to go into the middle of a riot zone. My anxiety is pretty bad at the moment as it is without making...

"You've been in a funny mood all day, not pleasant to be around."
You think? You think I'm in a funny mood? Yeah I am, so what? I have the right to be in a bad mood, I can't keep this pretence up forever can I? No I can't I need a break from it when it gets too tough! If I'm unpleasant to be around, fuck off out the way! I don't give a fuck what you think! Not today, today you could uncover the truth and I wouldn't deny it, any excuse for our 'thing' to be wrecked, so I could abandon...

Ever felt like the enter world is against you and that everyones out to get you? Thats how i feel right now. I feel so alone, so stupid and worthless and just a useless waste of space. I can't help but feel like this. People keep telling me how much i mean to them and how important i am. My uncle told me my little cousin keeps asking for ma all the time when i'm not there and that was one of the first worlds she learnt. He said i'm practically her favourite person in the world. She so adorable and...

So most of this is coming off the commentary as sadly, I couldn’t get to the match at Stevenage in which only 700 fans made. Due to the online radio going faulty I missed the first 12 minutes of play, but I got the gist of what happened.

The volume at Broadhall Way was immense; all the fans were excited at the prospect of staying in the carling cup and the possibility of playing great teams like Manchester United and Arsenal.
Peterborough United the better team dominated at...