Why is life so confusing? Why can things never be completely good? It just shows what a failure I am, I'm pathetic! I say 'oh yeah I can throw it!' and everyone's expecting me to chuck it miles and win my miles and what do I do? Come third! Fucking third! I've won every year apart from today! And that's not the worst bit! I came 7th in Long Jump! I mean 7th is completely crap! I mean worse then crap! I mean SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT! I'm meant to be sporty, I'm meant to do well at this, I'm meant...

...

There are so many things i regret in life. I just can't stop think about them recently. I've been playing things over and over in my head. Trying to make sense of things but what if theres nothing to make sense of? What if this is it? I'm tired of fighting. I know what i have to do.

Feel so weak and broken. I'm irreparable and it's not like anyone even cares.

I'm sorry i'm not good enough. I'm sorry i'm not perfect. I'm sorry i'm alive.

Hey guys. I just needed to get this out of my system. Lately, for three or so years i have had this extreme pain in my left rib cage. It hurts and stabd when I touch it. It feels like it sqeeuzes that entire area sometims. I am really scared, because I think its a form of cancer. I am not sure, but I know I am at a high risk because of my artheritites. Yes, Im a kid, with RA. I have very scared, and realized if cancer woul destroy my life I would not want that to happen. So, I made an appuontment...

I'm sorry I can't be perfect
I'm sorry I lie
I'm sorry You don't know me like you want to
I'm sorry I don't trust you
I'm sorry I don't like you
I'm sorry I'm selfish
I'm sorry I'm not motivated
I'm sorry I'm rude
I'm sorry I hate being here
I'm sorry I don't open up to you
I'm sorry I don't make you smile
I'm sorry I can't laugh around you
I'm sorry I don't always do as you want me to
I'm sorry I'm fat
I'm sorry...

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For those of you who haven't been following our Social Networking pages, this is what we've been posting about over the last month:

June 1st: ACCEPTANCE: Craig, an openly gay high school student, offers tips on "coming in" just in time for Pride Month! http://bit.ly/j9pUAX...

I can't do this...

I have come to the conclusion that it must be me, i am the one common factor in all of this with my bf and parents....I deserve every bruise and cut i recieve...otherwise it wouldn't happen.

I'm just pathetic, i stand there and let it happen.. just grow up Charli...

cut cut cut

Prom tonight. As if I wasn't already nervous enough, J is being a dick.

Fashionably late.

I don't want to be late.

I want to know what time he's coming to get me.

I hate feeling this anxious. I'm scared. I was already scared.

He's been dating me for over a year. Surely he knows what I'm like? It's not even a big thing, either. I just want to get there on time and I want to know when he'll be picking me up.

I think I have finally snapped, finally broken.

Suddenly i just want to cut and bleed everywhere, I want to scream in the face of the people who have hurt me, to drink until i can't stand up. And then to finally take all those pills and actually succeed at it this time ....
I'm not the strong person they think I am, i'm broken, I can't be fixed anymore.

I can't take the pain or the urges for any longer.. i'm sorry..