I don't know how I feel at the moment.

I've been ill.

So I feel ill.

Nothing else. Not really.

Today's been a funny sort of day really. I woke up feeling sick and shakey...but then that's what you get for ODing I suppose. I was feeling really horrible and selfish. Still do if truth be told. But then the word selfish is permemently there on my arm. Reminding me of what I am. I feel odd. I wear long sleeves constantly. Hiding the scars. Yet I think everyone can see them. I know they can't yet I still panic about it.

My day got better. I had the most amazing conversations with...

I know he has only moved back in with his parents for support, and i'm being selfish but i miss him already. It is so strange not having him around and i feel so alone.
When i told him i didn't want him living with me anymore i didn't mean it, i was being cruel to be kind i suppose, but i feel so bad. He looked so hurt when i said it and it broke my heart to watch him go; I don't even know if it was the right thing to do anymore!?

I'm so confused and i hate this feeling of...

I want to go to the doctors and get their opinion. I want to know if there's something wrong with me.
If there isn't. Well, then I don't know what the hell I can do. Perhaps that would be reassuring because then I'd know I'd just grow out of it. Otherwise I'll have to keep struggling on on my own.
If there is, which there won't be, then perhaps I can get some help.
I feel really ill right now. I'm going to bed.

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I feel so alone, so lost, so empty, so numb. I don't want to fight this anymore. I can't fight this. Everythings just falling apart around me. I am invisible and insignificant. I dont matter. I would be lying if i said i ever did. I jus need reasons to fight but they are all being lost slowly one by one. Life seems so pointless, such a waste.
Maybe me living is just a waste of death.

OMG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! POSH WON THE PLAY-OFF MATCH AND I'M GOING TO OLD TRAFFORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YESTUDAY WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

I've lost weight. But I've lost it quicker than my dad saif it was possible. But I don't care. I feel lighter.

I'm still over weight, but I'm getting there. I am. I will be happier.

I'm surrounded by people but yet i feel so alone!
Like no one actually cares about me, i feel like i should just leave because there is no one here to care about me. My boyfriend keeps saying i have him, but he is depressed and i don't want to bring him down more.
I really don't know what to do because i hate this lonely feeling. I want it to go!