I binged this morning.
I'm so stupid.
No more snacks today. Half my lunch, which hopefully will just be soup anyway, and then maybe see if I can get away with three quarters of whatever my mum serves for dinner, no second helpings and no pudding.
Sounds doable.
Ugh. I hate my body.

...

I'm tired. I think I'll get some food and go to bed.
I need a hug from someone.
I'm lonely.
But I feel weird. I've been irritable, hyper and sometimes really down all week. It's odd and annoying.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! MY MUM HAS ME TOTALLY SUSSED! SHE KNOWS THEYRE SELF HARM AND SHE KNOWS I THEN MOVED TO MY STOMACH! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! I FEEL LIKE CRYING! IM SOOOOOOOOO SCARED SHE'S GOING TO CHECK AND I'VE STOPPED FOR AGEEEEEES! I DON'T OVERLY NEED TO NOW, I KNOW MORE THAN EVER THAT I CAN'T! BUT IM SO STRESSED AND ITS THIS TYPE OF THING THAT MAKES ME NEED 2! I HATE MYSELF FOR ALL THIS! I HATE HER FOR TALKING ABOUT IT! I JUST HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT! I CAN'T HELP BUT WANT TO END IT...

I swear everyone hates me! I have a total of 0 friends in most of my classes and I feel such a loser, it's so embarrasing to sit at the front, on a 4 people desk, all on your own! All I want to do is cut my arm - so badly! I fucking hate my mum and nan for noticing and saying something, why can't they fucking leave me alone, I swear it's her that made me like this, all over me... it drove me to SH! I'm not her perfect daughter like she thinks, I want alcohol, drugs, sex and just to rebel! I wish...

Today hasn't been too bad. I've cheered up a bit.
It feels like I'm on an up. Well, that's good. But I hope I don't crash until my exams have finished.
I'm getting a little addicted to the site babydow, but it doesn't take up too much time in the day, so that's good.
I'm gonna have a relaxing evening tonight. I'm so tired.

I need to finish that history question. I have fifteen minutes. I can't do it in form because I have assembly.

I feel ill. And tired. And I just want to sleep. But I can't. Because I have to keep going.

I always have to keep going and it's not fair.

I just want to scream. Really, really loudly.

I feel ill, I have a history practice question due in for tomorrow that I haven't done and my first exam is on Monday. I have to help make breakfast for the younger kids at church on Sunday.

I have a horrible urge to break a bone. Maybe my wrist. Or get run over. I could easily get run over on the way to school. No one would know it was on purpose.

I want to feel safe. I want to be somewhere where I don't...

I've not been forgotten. Pete came to find me today. I have an appointment on Tuesday. I was wondering if I should write something down before going in. J wants me to tell him about being violent.

I don't want to. I don't know him well enough. But I don't want to let J down, seeing as it was him who was getting hurt.

I don't know what to do.