I'm not okay. [triggering]
Tags depression, eating disorder, fat, low, self harm, self hatred
I don't know how to put into words how I feel. I don't know how to blog about how I'm slowly slipping back into my old ways, into the darkness. I don't know how to tell you that I want to die. I want to never wake up.
I don't know how to tell you that I'm starving again. I don't need food if I'm a fat ass.
I could go into this long rant about my self-hatred and what not, but nobody really cares so I think I'll save it.
I don't know how to explain this sadness. I feel so low, so utterly low. It's been 26 days since I last cut. The longest ever, but the urges to feel the pain are so strong right now.
I could go into this long rant about my self-hatred and what not, but nobody really cares so I think I'll save it.
I don't know how to explain this sadness. I feel so low, so utterly low. It's been 26 days since I last cut. The longest ever, but the urges to feel the pain are so strong right now.
Cut. Starve. Cut. Binge. Purge. Starve. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut.
I can't stand to be in my own skin anymore. I can't stand the rolls upon rolls on my body, the fat stuck to my bones. I would give anything to be thin. I would die to be able to see my bones.
Erghh. I don't know how to explain it.
Erghh. I don't know how to explain it.
Starve. Starve. Cut. Binge. Cut.
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