Well, tomorrow Jon gets his first paycheck. Now of course I don't like that he wants to spend his money to go and get me nice things and take me out, but at the same time I can't help feeling excited about going out with him.

He wants to take me out to eat at a really good Mexican restaraunt downtown; he's taken me there once before, and the food is very good and at a very reasonable price!

There's one other thing he really wants to do, and I wish he wouldn't...

So I had an epically mild cold. Then on Saturday night, I decided to buy pizza. I'd had a really really good day - Dad came over and we got my car going, plus I got mail - so I was celebrating how happy I was.

However the weather's been very rainy and a bit cold. I like it, it sure beats the drought, but here's what happened:
It wasn't raining when I left.
I crossed the road on my way home (with my pizza), and it started to rain. At the lights it started to bucket down....

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Like actually.
I mean it's been a little too humid to be actually comfortable, but at least it's actually been raining, and we can look at finally calling an end to the worst drought in 50+ years.

So I got out of bed, and was just about to get dressed when the phone rang. It was Dad, saying he was on his way over. Well, that he would be leaving as soon as he got off the phone anyway. So I got dressed, chucked my washing in the machine, and did my dishes which I was too lazy...

So I heard there was thunderstorms on the way.

Most people's reaction would be different to mine.
My reaction: SWEET! I'm baking cookies!
(In order to sit in bed reading Harry Potter and eating cookies, of course.)

Boxing was fun. Leisa kinda sorta joined in. At first I was worried that I would be nervous and stuff with her there, but it was okay.

Got my stitches out. asdihogrbgoqn'[;oq3ih feels so much better. The nurse put steri-strips...

It's like.

I don't feel overly bad, not horrible by any means and nothing much has happened except my period came. And now it's gone.
I still can't say I feel horrible, just eh I guess. I have my good moments but yet I'm cutting so much and I don't even know why. There have been at least seven instances this month, and a lot of resisting. I've made my thickest cut I've ever made and long to do it again but can't seem to figure out how. I've bled so much I've just slightly tinted...

I get my stitches out at 9:00am tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to it, the wound has been completely healed for like, 3 days now, and the stitches just itch.

I should have had a shower today. I should have vacuumed the floor. I should have cooked a better meal. I should have eaten less of the cake I baked. Although, my cake is delicious.

Some of my scars itch.

I'm torn between wanting to lose lots of weight, and wanting to eat and eat and eat. ...

I used to be young and think my dreams were achievable, I was going to take over the world, be famous, be rich, be effortlessly me.

Now, I think I'll settle for sleeping each night.
Food inside me each day.
Enough internet to distract from what's probably pain.

I'm a mess.
I can't act out.
Cut yourself? People talk; everybody's all like, take the quetiapine, it'll help.
It doesn't. It just makes me feel fuzzy.
Light a fire?...

Today is quiet and peaceful. But only because tomorrow, a war will start. I worry for my sisters sake. I will be there for her but there's only so much i can say and do. I just hope they'll accept her for who she is and not judge her like this cruel world does. If they do, i fear that she'll run for her life because the people she loves and trust didn't accept her. But she will always have me. I will always accept her for who she is and any choices she makes. If tomorrow goes bad and she wants to...

Source: Newsletter | Issue 37 | If you would like to receive the full quality HTML version via email please sign up.


TeenHelp Newsletter #37 - April 15th 2013 - http://www.teenhelp.org

Welcome to the TeenHelp Newsletter! Our Newsletter contains a lot of useful information about our current work, including updates to our site and services, work with our partners and affiliates, details of ...