I used to be young and think my dreams were achievable, I was going to take over the world, be famous, be rich, be effortlessly me.

Now, I think I'll settle for sleeping each night.
Food inside me each day.
Enough internet to distract from what's probably pain.

I'm a mess.
I can't act out.
Cut yourself? People talk; everybody's all like, take the quetiapine, it'll help.
It doesn't. It just makes me feel fuzzy.
Light a fire?...

Today is quiet and peaceful. But only because tomorrow, a war will start. I worry for my sisters sake. I will be there for her but there's only so much i can say and do. I just hope they'll accept her for who she is and not judge her like this cruel world does. If they do, i fear that she'll run for her life because the people she loves and trust didn't accept her. But she will always have me. I will always accept her for who she is and any choices she makes. If tomorrow goes bad and she wants to...

Source: Newsletter | Issue 37 | If you would like to receive the full quality HTML version via email please sign up.


TeenHelp Newsletter #37 - April 15th 2013 - http://www.teenhelp.org

Welcome to the TeenHelp Newsletter! Our Newsletter contains a lot of useful information about our current work, including updates to our site and services, work with our partners and affiliates, details of ...

Apparently is the state of being unable to choose between two opposing courses of action. Which right now, fits me perfectly.

On the one hand, get fit, get well, be healthy, stop self-harming, do peer employment training, get a job. On the other hand . . . light fires, cut deep, just eat less, look for stuff to blow up, sleep too much, or spend all night on the internet . . .

I literally can't make the choice between working towards recovery or staying mentally unwell....

Source: Notice | Facilitated Chat Room Discussions.


There are two scheduled discussions on the topic of maximising your productivity in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (BST) and the second will be held at 8pm Central US time (CDT). All you have to do to take part is log into the Chat...

Why can't people be happy with what they have? Like a guy looking at another girl when he has a girl. Or a girl looking at another guy when she has a guy. It makes no sense. If your not happy with them, move the fuck on instead of being a total dipshit. Men just can't be happy with 1 girl. They gotta have a bunch. Freaking mother nature, thinking you're all that. Mother nature is a bitch.

Well, I better add in some OTHER stuff from the rest of the week that's not so depressing.

So today is Leisa's birthday. I spent most of Monday planning a drawing, and most of Tuesday completing said drawing. I wanted to give her something nice, because she does so much for me. So I drew a picture and coloured it pretty, and paper-clipped a little happy birthday note to the back. I gave it to her yesterday. (She's off work today because they get a paid day off on their birthdays.)...

Have you ever not been sure if you were suppose to be happy or sad or stressed? Because recently, i've felt that way. I have almost every reason to be happy but, my family just...drags me back down. I love them yet i constantly feel they don't love me as much. What kind of a family calls their daughter or sister fat? I don't mean to complain. It helps typing my thoughts out sometimes...maybe, i am a little fat...i don't know...all i see when i look in the mirror is the flaws. Why can't i ever be...

So... Last Friday, I did things with my boyfriend. I don't really like specifying on this stuff. But, we weren't really smart about things. But, now I have to wait 2 weeks to take a damn pregnancy test. I got my friend to buy it for me since I can't really get out of the house. He got a 2 pack. So,I guess that's a good thing? To double check, right? If I'm not pregnant... Wow, I would be so thankful. If I am, I will be so suicidal. No joke. My mom would freaking kill me. With my luck......

I'm so sad that my sister was looking through my phone one day. I got paranoid and deleted the pictures I took of the cuts on my thighs. They were fresh. Bloody. New. And I needed to remember what was there since I can never ever cut there again now that my mom is going to be seeing my thighs Wednesay. I wish I didn't delete those pictures because now they're fading and that's sad to me. I liked just staring at it. I wish I could cut there some more. And my arms and everywhere. Is it so bad that...