Really bad day.
Think I'm gonna drop out of college.
Tutor's pissed with me.
Been carrying a blade about with me.
My card was rejected twice because Amazon haven't refunded me like they were supposed to so I can't get my train tickets.
I could feel a girl who went to my school staring at me on the bus which just scared the hell out of me.
Everything seemed to go wrong. On impulse I went into Asda and bought stuff I really shouldn't have. Made plans and set...

I thought i was getting better, but then today 1 little bad comment someone made to me i got depressed again. I almost started crying. Every little negative comment gets me either crying or wanting to cry. I don't know what to do.. Anybody have any idea's?

I still haven't had any suicidal thoughts for about 6 days. The thoughts of cutting are getting worse. Just want to see the blood, and feel the pain. Just have blood running down my arm. Just to make the sadness and voices go away....

I had my physical today.

My blood pressure is high. This could be because of my birth control. I'm scared that I'll have to stop taking it. It was working so well on my periods already, I don't want to go back to not using any. =/

They also tested my hearing and it wasn't as good as it should be. I may have a problem hearing with my right ear.

Both of these things mean I have to go back to the doctor in a month. Now I can't help but be worried.

...

Charli..Learn when to fuck off, no one likes you, no one wants you here. You're a waste of space, a waste of people's time..

Okay, this title doesn't make sense. Whoop-de-friggin-do. Okay, so it actually means I have this blog about a bunch of things with mixed emotions on them.

Today I had a talk with the student teacher rep person, or whatever the fuck she is. I think it's more the "I'll tell all the important people when something important is happening" person.... Or maybe that's just the way it is right now. My school is a stupid place. It's shaped like a swatsicka. We can't have a LGBT and...

Urgh I'm so pathetic, all he did was grab my arm and squeeze it, i don't know why i started crying. You're so pathetic Charli...

All i want to do lately is cut and all i think about it dying, I'm ridiculous....

So hungry >_< Family ate without me again last night but thought i had eaten and said i was being greedy eating again.
I feel really sick and dizzy, all i ate yesterday was an orange and an apple, please let me eat properly today dad :/

well my girlfriend is pissing me off a lot latley, over politics, over friends, over everything really, i mean she ditched me to go hang with some other people, and she just pisses me off, so im just gonna stop talking to her for two days, see what happens, she just pisses me off, like i dont want to break up with her but at the same time i do, ya know?

I really don't want to hear about how you think suicide is selfish or that people to attempt it are strange and you don't care... thanks sir, great Maths lesson.

Proves my point that people don't care, cutting would help so much right now..need more pills too..

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