TeenHelp - Entries for July 2012

What the eff...[triggering] Strong Language

Posted July 24th 2012 at 06:56 PM by escape♥

Tags calories, eating disorder, fuck, guilt, voices

Erghhh. What the HELL did I just do?!!?! I was doing so well. No calories all day..and then. My mom decides to pick up fast food for us and my sick aunt. And my stupid fucking weak self decided to eat.
Sighhh. I know I need it.
Food is Life.
But who care's about living if your fat?

So. Much. GUILT.

escape♥

Happiness is waiting for you<3

Posted in Rampant Thoughts in the Unforgiving Darkness

Views 744 Comments 1 escape♥ is offline

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I'm not okay. [triggering]

Posted July 24th 2012 at 04:17 PM by escape♥
Updated July 24th 2012 at 04:25 PM by escape♥

Tags depression, eating disorder, fat, low, self harm, self hatred

I don't know how to put into words how I feel. I don't know how to blog about how I'm slowly slipping back into my old ways, into the darkness. I don't know how to tell you that I want to die. I want to never wake up.

I don't know how to tell you that I'm starving again. I don't need food if I'm a fat ass.
I could go into this long rant about my self-hatred and what not,

...

escape♥

Happiness is waiting for you<3

Posted in Rampant Thoughts in the Unforgiving Darkness

Views 849 Comments 0 escape♥ is offline

trig (ED) Dying to be thinnest.

Posted July 21st 2012 at 03:17 PM by escape♥
Updated July 22nd 2012 at 02:58 AM by escape♥

Tags eating disorder, recovery, self loathing, thin

Yesterday, I had therapy. I really needed it, the voice was screaming at me, constantly.
"Your not good enough! Get off your fat ass and loose some weight! As long as your thin, nothing else matters! You want to be perfect, right?!" Etc, etc etc.

I was reading something a while ago about how it doesn't matter if your thin if your dead, and immediatly my eating disorder says: "Who cares if your dead as long as your thin. The thinnest. I know you would do anything...

escape♥

Happiness is waiting for you<3

Posted in Rampant Thoughts in the Unforgiving Darkness

Views 745 Comments 0 escape♥ is offline

Together we can make it through another day. trig

Posted July 17th 2012 at 03:19 AM by escape♥

So, I find this song somewhat triggering (ED) and somewhat hopeful. Its so true, and sad, but its still pretty good. And it pretty much describes how I feel at the moment, so here you go.

Courage by Superchick

*I told another lie today
And I got through this day
No one saw through my games
I know the right words to say
Like "I don't feel well," "I ate before I came"
Then someone tells me how good I look
And for...

escape♥

Happiness is waiting for you<3

Posted in Uncategorized

Views 632 Comments 0 escape♥ is offline

So, emotionally exhausted. trig

Posted July 7th 2012 at 03:56 AM by escape♥
Updated July 7th 2012 at 02:35 PM by escape♥

I'm tired of crying.
I'm tired of yelling.
I'm tired of being sad.
I'm tired of pretending.
I'm tired of being alone.
I'm tired of being angry.
I'm tired of feeling crazy.
I'm tired of feeling stuck.
I'm tired of needing help.
I'm tired of remembering.
I'm tired of worrying.
I'm tired of being different.
I'm tired of cutting.
I'm tired of missing people.
I'm tired of feeling worthless.
I'm tired of wanting...

escape♥

Happiness is waiting for you<3

Posted in Uncategorized

Views 611 Comments 0 escape♥ is offline