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Old

What the eff...[triggering] *Strong Language*

Posted July 24th 2012 at 05:56 PM by escape♥



Erghhh. What the HELL did I just do?!!?! I was doing so well. No calories all day..and then. My mom decides to pick up fast food for us and my sick aunt. And my stupid fucking weak self decided to eat.
Sighhh. I know I need it.
Food is Life.
But who care's about living if your fat?

So. Much. GUILT.
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Views 600 Comments 1 escape♥ is offline
Old

I'm not okay. [triggering]

Posted July 24th 2012 at 03:17 PM by escape♥
Updated July 24th 2012 at 03:25 PM by escape♥


I don't know how to put into words how I feel. I don't know how to blog about how I'm slowly slipping back into my old ways, into the darkness. I don't know how to tell you that I want to die. I want to never wake up.

I don't know how to tell you that I'm starving again. I don't need food if I'm a fat ass.
I could go into this long rant about my self-hatred and what not,
...
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Happiness is waiting for you<3
Views 697 Comments 0 escape♥ is offline
Old

*trig (ED)* Dying to be thinnest.

Posted July 21st 2012 at 02:17 PM by escape♥
Updated July 22nd 2012 at 01:58 AM by escape♥

Yesterday, I had therapy. I really needed it, the voice was screaming at me, constantly.
"Your not good enough! Get off your fat ass and loose some weight! As long as your thin, nothing else matters! You want to be perfect, right?!" Etc, etc etc.

I was reading something a while ago about how it doesn't matter if your thin if your dead, and immediatly my eating disorder says: "Who cares if your dead as long as your thin. The thinnest. I know you would do anything...
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Happiness is waiting for you<3
Views 586 Comments 0 escape♥ is offline
Old

Together we can make it through another day. *trig*

Posted July 17th 2012 at 02:19 AM by escape♥

So, I find this song somewhat triggering (ED) and somewhat hopeful. Its so true, and sad, but its still pretty good. And it pretty much describes how I feel at the moment, so here you go.

Courage by Superchick

*I told another lie today
And I got through this day
No one saw through my games
I know the right words to say
Like "I don't feel well," "I ate before I came"
Then someone tells me how good I look
And for
...
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Happiness is waiting for you<3
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 521 Comments 0 escape♥ is offline
Old

So, emotionally exhausted. *trig*

Posted July 7th 2012 at 02:56 AM by escape♥
Updated July 7th 2012 at 01:35 PM by escape♥

I'm tired of crying.
I'm tired of yelling.
I'm tired of being sad.
I'm tired of pretending.
I'm tired of being alone.
I'm tired of being angry.
I'm tired of feeling crazy.
I'm tired of feeling stuck.
I'm tired of needing help.
I'm tired of remembering.
I'm tired of worrying.
I'm tired of being different.
I'm tired of cutting.
I'm tired of missing people.
I'm tired of feeling worthless.
I'm tired of wanting...
escape♥'s Avatar
Happiness is waiting for you<3
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 493 Comments 0 escape♥ is offline
 
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