Why is it that life must be so stressful?
Is it just part of our goal for survival in a modern world?
Life throws various obstacles at us and it is up to us on how we deal with them. Some deal with them better than others of course. That is easily seen. Some people are put in situations where they can be killed, and their choices to what they are faced with is the cause of this. Whereas other people are put directly in these situations and they just happen to be in the cross fire....

I suck at it. Haha.

The thought of school tomorrow makes me want to cry
Can't face it
Don't make me go
Hate school, hate the people there
they hate me
It's embaressing,
I'm always embaresed.
Fuck.
I can't do it...
Can't go back into the routine
Think I'm going to start SHing again
Don't want to do that...
Might have to though, must keep going
I said I would recover this year,
Said I'd be happy and confident.
I was kidding myself...

Source: Notice | Staff Applications.


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Sometimes my mother makes it really fucking hard for me to tell her shit. No, impossible.


Everything that I do is me playing “a game” to her.
My Self Harm is just me playing a game. It’s just me doing it for attention. Yeah, because I’m going to get fucking addicted to something and do it whenever I feel like shit, which is often, for attention. And then hide it.
My suicidal thoughts aren’t that bad. The school was totally just overreacting when they told you....

School tomorrow.. well, tutoring. :/
So much work to do.
Feel sick. Like, I'm gonna puke.
F.M.L.

Okay, Noone should patronize me. But, I'm scared. You know.. about December? Well, I honestly don't wanna die in flames. I wanna live my life. And, if we make it to 2013, I'm gonna be so relieved and happy. Call me stupid all you guys want. But, I have a right to freely express my emotions and fears without being afraid of being patronized for it. :/

Jose and I are back together. Just thought I'd say that. I'm starting to miss him more and more.
I'm scared to fall in love.
But I can feel myself doing it. Like if I was with him, I know I would be like, I love this kid.
But he doesn't want to fall for me. I want to be catched.
*sigh*

How did everyone spend their new years eve? Mine was fantastic!

Usually I don't do anything fun for New Year's, but this year was a special exception because I actually had someone to spend it with. I went to Jon's house to spend the day with him, and I stayed until some time after the ball drop.

We watched Hetalia, ate New Years soba noodles, which is a Japanese New Year's tradition, and we played some games and cuddled for god knows how long.
...

Happy new years everyone! Hope you all had a good night. And i hope you all have a great year.
I had a good night. Went to my aunts house. Saw my baby cousin. He's 19 months old. So cute. I love him. He's one of the only reasons i stay alive. He makes me happy.
Last night we all sat around playing games and talking.The adults were drunk. My mom let me have spiked eggnog. First time ever having alcohol. My dad would never let me. So another secret to keep.But this one isnt bad....