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Old

Still at a loss for words... (Triggering)

Posted September 1st 2012 at 03:49 AM by Ennui. (Rantings of a Mermaid Princess)

I don't even know. Ever since a few days before school started I've been feeling depressed, or maybe anxious, or a bit of both again. I don't really want to do work or accept the new changes and personally I find everything kind of hellish right now. The classes, some of the people, everything. I sat there in class yesterday and randomly felt like crying and there have been times where I have felt that pressure in my chest, that sad-scared feeling in my heart.

I'm tired, but I'm never...
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Living the dream.
Posted in Uncategorized
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Old

I'm not okay. [triggering]

Posted July 24th 2012 at 03:17 PM by escape♥
Updated July 24th 2012 at 03:25 PM by escape♥


I don't know how to put into words how I feel. I don't know how to blog about how I'm slowly slipping back into my old ways, into the darkness. I don't know how to tell you that I want to die. I want to never wake up.

I don't know how to tell you that I'm starving again. I don't need food if I'm a fat ass.
I could go into this long rant about my self-hatred and what not,
...
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Happiness is waiting for you<3
Views 429 Comments 0 escape♥ is offline
Old

I hate this so much. (TRIGGERING)

Posted May 3rd 2012 at 10:59 PM by Ennui. (Rantings of a Mermaid Princess)

No matter how many times people try to convince me otherwise, no matter how many times I try to convince myself otherwise, I always feel in my heart that I'll never be good enough. That no matter how hard I try it'll never be enough. That I'll never succeed. That nothing will ever change for me.

I go through periods of doing good. Today was one of my better days in THREE WEEKS. But I know it won't last. It never lasts. I've been so depressed lately even though I never show it, everything...
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Living the dream.
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 502 Comments 2 Ennui. is offline
Old

Okay, so, I'm sorry...

Posted April 27th 2012 at 01:49 AM by Ennui. (Rantings of a Mermaid Princess)

I don't know how many of you have noticed how down I have gotten lately. I had relapsed with my SH 4 or 5 days in a row, something I usually don't do. Yesterday broke that cycle and today has been good so far.

I've been dreading answering the phone, getting annoyed when I do, and I've noticed myself distancing from people I talk to, whether it is on MSN or here. So, for all of you who may have noticed this, I'm so, so sorry. Sometimes I even dread it when people hug me or touch me,...
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Living the dream.
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 472 Comments 1 Ennui. is offline
Old

I'm just so lost... (TRIGGERING)

Posted February 16th 2012 at 11:12 PM by Ennui. (Rantings of a Mermaid Princess)
Updated February 17th 2012 at 02:25 AM by Ennui.

I went to my therapist appointment and she wants me to see a psychiatrist. If I see a psychiatrist, my mom would only want me to see her once because we can't afford to see both a therapist and psychiatrist, and my mom still thinks nothing's wrong with me.
I'd be seeing the psychiatrist for self harm and a possible diagnosis of depression. My mom is a shitty listener and didn't hear the depression part until I told her, and my mom pretty much got pissed off and said that I really must be
...
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Living the dream.
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 399 Comments 1 Ennui. is offline
Old

my breaking point thoughts.. ( tirggering i guess )

Posted February 11th 2011 at 10:46 PM by xX-anna-Xx

Who am i trying to kid ?
me or him.
i know the things i say are usually lies when it comes to him.
but what am i suppose to say ?
that i still love him, when he doesnt give a crap about me .
when you look into my eyes i know you can see the hurt behind the smile and the lie " im fine "
he knew me. he was everything to me. he was my bestfriend. now hes gone. and theres no way to get him back.
i effed up big time by dating him again i guess....
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Member
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Views 357 Comments 0 xX-anna-Xx is offline
Old

stupid stupid stupid.. (triggering)

Posted December 21st 2010 at 02:18 AM by xX-anna-Xx

everything i do is just so stupid. i cant make anyone happy , everything i do its all blah and i always make mistakes in peoples eyes. mostly my fathers and i dont understand why.
i hate how i do this and i dont understand how i can make a happy person into a sad , miserable person.. /:
i reallly hate this , just by posting some of these blogs i know that im probly making someone sad..
i just hate thiis feeling i have ...
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Posted in Uncategorized
Views 350 Comments 0 xX-anna-Xx is offline
Old

Laugh Project Links 1

Posted February 16th 2010 at 09:01 PM by Jacksonian

Hello there all. Here are some links to some funny comedy segments in an attempt to bring some laughter and smiles on your faces. Please just relax and don't force yourself to laugh just relax and watch and try to enjoy.

1. ) Coach Hines Links - These links are about a school coach who disturbs the peace of the school. He is a sports coach.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaSEuLDyQhw : In this segment coach Sandoval Hines attempts to know which student is using performance...
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Views 683 Comments 0 Jacksonian is offline
 
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